When Disappointment Hits: God Restoring and Reviving Our Soul

I recently heard someone say that the two main things that take people out the most in life and ministry are bitterness and not dealing well with disappointment.

What is it about disappointment that makes it such an essential thing to deal with? The way you deal with it will either bring you closer to God or it will pull you away. And here’s the thing, if you let it pull you away from him, then you’re drifting away from the source of healing for your pain and your disappointment. Other solutions will only become quick fixes in an attempt to deal with the very real bitterness festering inside against God.

And yet, how can one deal with disappointment when the grief stems from those moments in life when God didn’t show up the way you thought he would? How can you make a choice to move closer to God when all you want is to blame him and move further away?

I believe that we all have questions and unanswered prayers. We’ve probably all gone through a situation that leaves us questioning God’s goodness and faithfulness. And we’ve all probably been in that place where drifting away from God almost feels easier and less painful than looking at our unanswered prayers and still choosing to worship him.

Learning from David’s Example

David went through this process again and again with God. As I’ve been pondering on some of my own unanswered prayers in my life, I’ve been drawn to the book of Psalms and the absolute rawness of David’s relationship with God.

Here’s the thing, if anyone had reason to be disappointed and bitter it was David. He’d been anointed king, and yet Saul, the current king wanted to kill him. Even after serving Saul faithfully and winning battles in his name, David was still hated, persecuted, and treated unjustly. He spent years in the wilderness running away, serving foreign kings, and hiding to save his very life. Even when he showed mercy to Saul time and again, Saul still chose to persecute David. Talk about a complicated relationship with your father-in-law.

And not only that, but years later, David went through the loss of his own son even after begging God to save his life. (2 Samuel 12:15-23) He had to deal with his other son rising up and planning a coup against him. All this to say, David had it tough. He was deeply acquainted with fear, panic, grief, loss, betrayal, and disappointment.

And yet, David never grew bitter. After everything he went through, he didn’t draw away from God, but closer to him. Even after sinning, he repented and chose to go back before God, fully open and transparent. (Psalm 51) Every low in his life led him closer to God’s heart.

In the wilderness, while he was hiding in the cave of Adullam, many worn down, broken and downcast men came to join him. These were men in distress, debt, and the Bible says “bitter in soul”. (1 Samuel 22:2) But David didn’t let them join him so they could all become a huge pity party. No. Even while he was being chased and he was dealing with his own grief and pain, David refused to partner with disappointment and bitterness. These men who joined him later became known as David’s Mighty Men, ordinary men who grew extraordinary and became the elite soldiers known for their great exploits in Israel. (1 Chronicles 11:10–47)

All this to say, neither personal loss nor the bitterness of those surrounding him could make David give in to disappointment. He felt the grief, sat in it, but then he moved on and worshiped the Lord. He lived a lifestyle of thankfulness and gratitude. He constantly reminded himself, and God, of God’s promises. He held fast to the Word and he knew the value of caring for his soul and spirit.

How Can We Learn from David?

How can we learn from David and let disappointment draw us closer to God, even in the midst of pain and grief? Let’s see what David did in the Psalms and glean from his own example.

1. Acknowledgement

David always acknowledged his hurt, pain, grief and disappointment. He didn’t hide it from himself or from God. He chose to show up fully open, even daring to show God the bad and ugly going through his mind.

“I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears. My eye wastes away because of grief; It grows old because of all my enemies.” – Psalm 6:6-7, NKJV

“How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart daily? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?” – Psalm 13:1-2, NKJV

2. Honesty

Closely related to his acknowledgement was his honesty. David laid his heart and soul bare before the Lord. He didn’t hide his pain, or hurt or disappointment. He didn’t hide the way he was feeling towards his situation and towards God in those moments.

“My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are You so far from helping Me, And from the words of My groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent.” – Psalm 22:1-2, NKJV

3. Remembrance

David constantly remembered God’s promises and faithfulness. Even in the midst of the hurt and when he couldn’t see God’s promises coming to pass, he remembered what God had said and spoken over him.

“I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work, And talk of Your deeds.” – Psalm 77:11-12, NKJV

“I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands.” – Psalm 143:5, NKJV

4. Restoration

David let God restore and revive his soul. If you read through the Psalms, you will notice this wasn’t a one time event. David constantly had to come back before the Lord and let him comfort him and revive his soul.

“He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.” – Psalm 23:3, NKJV

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.” – Psalm 51:10-12, NKJV

5. Gratitude

David constantly partnered with gratitude. Through every trial, he stopped to celebrate what God had done in his life and to thank him for his goodness, even when he couldn’t always see it or experience it.

“Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.” – Psalm 118:1, NKJV

“I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” – Psalm 34:1, NKJV

6. Worship

David continuously chose to worship, even when it cost him in the moment to do so. The following verse was written while he was fleeing from Saul.

“My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and give praise. Awake, my glory! Awake, lute and harp! I will awaken the dawn.” – Psalm 57:7-8, NKJV

Conclusion

In conclusion, whenever you feel disappointed and like you will never see God’s goodness or the fulfillment of his promises, choose to follow David’s example and acknowledge your hurt. Be honest about your pain. Remember God’s promises, even if at the moment you can’t see or believe them. Then let God restore your soul, your emotions, thoughts and feelings. Let him restore your spirit and your relationship with him. Choose gratitude, even in the pain. And last but not least, live a lifestyle of worship even while you wait for the promises of God to come to pass.

Here’s the thing, God never truly left David. In moments it may have seemed that way, but that wasn’t the reality. God was always present, always faithful, and his promises always proved true. And that is who God promised to be with us today. He is faithful, constant and true. We can trust him in our pain, grief and disappointment. One day, we will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” – Psalm 27:13, NKJV